Some of tonights oppostion

 

 

 

Introduction:

Ah Zizou. Old foes of the Lepers. Going into Thursday nights crunch game the Seagullers led 2-1 on previous meetings with the United Nations select 5, having secured a 3-0 cakewalk in their last meeting. The finest 5-a-side team this side of somewhere else were confident of dealing out another lesson in Leprotic footballing to the team in the dodgy Liverpool away shirt, but hopes were dashed with the news that Cantona Cornwall had succumbed to some unknown injury/prior arrangement/loss of kit. Cornwall had been unanimously voted Man of the Match in all his previous appearances, including a blistering 30 second spell the previous week, and his presence was sure to be missed. But cometh the hour, cometh the Webb, as the hotshot made his eagerly anticipated return to the first team squad, giving a timely boost to the flagging morale of the Lepers.

Method:

Manager Jerzak again started with a suspicious 4-0 formation, choosing to start himself on the bench claiming back-knack. Sheen in goal, Harby, Harvey, Ames and Drake presenting a united front on the edge of the D. Webb and Jerzak warming the bench.

Results:

Although Jerzaks management has previously come under close scrutiny, particular for having not yet gained his UEFA coaching badge, all doubt would soon be washed away as the Lepers slowly began to assert themselves, playing with verve and enthusiasm and generally doling out danger and menace in the opposition half like clowns dole out terror: efficiently, and
with great aplomb. Such fear was struck into the opposition that they almost immediately attempted to throw the game, when a back-pass from distance rattled off the outside of the post. It wasn’t long before the Leper pressure finally told, Drake firing into the far corner after a quickly worked training ground set piece with Harvey. Soon it was 2 as Season 2's MVP Ames struck from distance, showing is distain for Zizou by turning his back on his shot, not even bothering to watch it beat the Danny Murphy-a-like in the Zizou goal.

The game was almost already up for Zizou when Webb marked his return by bustling onto the edge of the D and finishing from close range. With the game looking safe, Harby took the opportunity to rest his legs, introducing Player-Manager Jerzak. However his decision proved to be premature as the Lepers defence, now looking all at sea without their inspirational sometime centre-back, allowed former Aston Villa fullback Alan Wright to nip in and score a lovely dink over the advancing Bear.

Half-time brought the traditional Lepers shuffle in personnel and positions, so much so that the half started in no little confusion. Who was playing in defence? Who was up front? Who was on the left? It didn't matter, Lepers were everywhere, playing there own unique brand of Total Football, Jerzaks hard training regime finally bearing fruit. Whereas some may have expect a show of German efficiency after the weekends shenanigans, the Lepers had gone Dutch. Close enough. The Lepers still managed to find room for their trademark rough-housing though with Harby and Ames both incurring Stato's wrath. But hard work down the channel from Webb soon released Harby on the edge of the area to add the forth. Surely game over? Not so, Zizou immediately pegged the score back to 4-2 as a burst of pace and blistering shot from Djimi Troare (officially the worst player to win a Champions League medal) beat the almost unbeatable Sheen.

A long range rasping shot from Harby (shot count 57, nearly as many as Drake) could only be parried out to Jerzak who blazed, wrong footed, from an acute angle, surely goal of the night? After this final suckerpunch, Zizou folded like a cheap hooker kicked in the stomach, Harvey adding a sixth before another quickly worked free-kick saw Drake add his second of the night and the Lepers seventh. The best was almost to come as the Lepers strung together a move of around 126 passes before unleashing Harvey who fired just wide to ruin everything.

Conclusion: Lepers are good.