The Lepers have fond memories of the Bouncy Castle stadium where they remain undefeated and recently smashed a record 16 past some hapless nobodies and previously saw off Sporting Airlocks Division 3 challenge. Giving his pre-match talk, Jerzak demanded the Lepers show no respect for their opponent and hit them hard and early. Given his usual pre-match talk of 'keeping it tight for the first few minutes' usually results in a Leper onslaught, it would be interesting to see what effect this would have. But the Lepers were not concerned, Jerzak knows best and within the first few minutes Hall of Fame Harvey had snatched the lead for the Lepers firing in from between 5 and 30 yards. The lead was short lived as the dreaded Penfold equalised from an acute angle past the hapless Sheen. The game was becoming increasingly physical as Northern Wonder Ames, fresh from his bout of gravy poisoning, repeatedly demonstrated his trade mark 'shove into the wall and kick then complain it was the other players fault' method of tackling and was lucky to stay on the pitch when he brought down a Lebowski player as he went clean through on goal. The ref was not amused. From the resulting free-kick the defensive pairing of Ames and Harby shrewdly stepped aside to allow the opposing player to poke the ball into the unguarded net, but only as he reeled away in delight did Ames deliver the sucker punch by reminding him it was in fact an indirect freekick. Fool.

Ames was amongst the action again amazingly arching an accurate effort aggressively in past the aghast antagonist net-attendant. 2-1. And with half-time fast approaching, Harby swooped like an Indian Vulture, now critically endangered and down to 0.3% of their previous population size, diving on carrion to intercept a stray Lebowski pass and punt in the Lepers third. With the first 15 minutes up, Jerzak took the sensible decision of removing the increasingly violent Ames from the action. Ames as usual felt that he had been unfairly persecuted by the referee, not unlike the persecution of the White-tailed sea eagle by farmers in the 1900's, but the reason for his repeated miss-timed tackling was later revealed as he admitted last weeks gravy poisoning was still troubling him.

With the start of the second half came possibly the decisive moment of the game. Frustrated by the superior ability of the Lepers boys, Lebowski finally snapped. After some good 'hustling' in the corner from Jerzak, 'Rufus' lived up to his name by seeing red and lifting an elbow viciously into the Pole-stars chin. 'Scum!!' bellowed Sheen from the goal, taking the incident with all the calm and poise we have become accustomed to. Powerleagues new professional ref agreed, 'scum indeed' he may have said to himself before issuing the red-card. 4 against 5. Surely a rout would now ensue? This initial assessment seemed accurate as Jerzak, still maddened by the swinging elbow powered home with possible the longest range shot ever in powerleague. 4-1. Jerzaks clenched-fist-pumping celebration showed just how much that goal might mean for the Lepers.
Faced by only 3 outfield players, the Lepers inexplicably forgot to mark allowing Penfold, or possibly some other Lebowski player whose name I don’t know, to nip in a dink one past the stranded Sheen. 4-2. Surely the Lepers couldn't throw it all away now, could they? Dangerous Demon of the Dynamic Dan Drake soon despatched such despicable discussion, dancing dizzily around the dumfounded desperately deficient defence delivering a double-deadly decisive brace in the dark, dank bouncy castle of doom. Further calamitous defending somehow allowed Lebowski in for their third, increasing the Lepers goals conceded column by a factor of four in one game! Shocking, and the Bear was rightly aggrieved by what he saw as a slight to his goal-keeping character.

But the Lepers were by now beginning to pick-off Lebowski at will as the opposition keeper threw the ball out directly to Harbys feet who coolly played in Norwegian superstar Mike Aage FjortofT for this first of the game. FjortofT is becoming something of a reverse Albatross for the Lepers who are yet to lose with him in the team. Lebowski spirits had plummeted like the population of House Sparrows in the UK http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_sparrow, and Harvey was able to nip in to grab his second and the Lepers 8th of the evening, nicely bookending the scorecard.

Will Will Webb wonder what went wrong with western waterfowl populations?
Has Harvey had his hummingbirds hidden?
Should Sheen shy from shooting Skylark?
Did Dan Drake destroy Dabbling Duck dens.
Are Ames's annoying arms about to attack Auks?
Jilted Jerzak to justify jousting with Jays.
FjortofT found fiddling fondly with feathered friends.

This week Spike has been to the RSPB headquarters and drank too much coffee.