Jonathan Harvey Player Biography

Westerham Reds       20           3
Ide Hill                      13           4
New Beacon              28          68
Judd (cage)               Too Many
Wilderpark                30           0
Priapism                   10           5
Heppers Lepers         21           ?


As a young whippersnapper Jonathan Harvey starting off his football career at Westerham reds academy which had seen the likes of John Solako make his name. Harvey’s career flourished from an early age. He amazed the enormous crowds with his pace and mazy runs. Released from Westerham he was quickly snapped up by the non league football team Ide Hill Primary School, he had only played one season when a transfer busting move was placed to New Beacon Prep School. The coach there had big plans for him and placed the still wet behind the ears player up front. The coach’s faith was soon repaid with a goals to game ratio of 2.4 and he finished the season top scorer. However, financial difficulty due to the headmaster taking bungs meant that the club fell into administration. This meant the club was docked points and were therefore relegated. Harvey was forced to move to The Judd School to free up some funds.

The culture at Judd was very different to what he had experienced before. Unbelievably, his 1950’s side parting was widely ridiculed. The training sessions we very different too, aggressive skills were taught in the infamous cage and fitness training was done by playing any sport but football. The group of footballers at the club soon took to drinking heavily and gambling on games of hearts and uno. Disillusioned with football, the club and the spice boy image, Harvey and the club decided to part company by errr…. mutual consent.

Then came the Wilder(ness)park years, blighted by injury and played out of position. The once promising career had well and truly come of the rails. Checking into a rehab clinic in Liverpool for 4 years helped save the boys life. He started playing football again for a local special needs team called Priapism. The lack of coordination showed as they were thrashed by every team.

Then word on the grape vine filtered through that a few of his old team mates were considering entering the masters (power) league. On hearing this news Harvey used all the money he had saved from stealing hubcaps and mobiles and headed home. The side parting was back and so was his love for the game.